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At Some Point in Your Life You Have to Do What is Good for You!!

One of the hardest things for me to do is to stop. That is right.  I am a workaholic, but at some time in my life I have to do what is good for me.   That is a quote from my loving son.  He is probably the most realistic person I know.

I was working 15 hour days and 7 days a week and one day I woke up and could not see.  I went to the computer and could not focus.  For two hours I tried to focus and could not.  During the week my eyesight kept getting worse and so I went to a specialist and of course they found nothing wrong.

He wanted me to do a brain angiogram to check the veins going to the eye to see if there was blockage. But instead a friend of mine referred me to a neurologist.  The eye doctor said I either had a stroke or I had blockage.  People just don't lose their eyesight for no reason.

So the doctor was free and so I went.  By the time I got there I was having severe sensitivity to the sun or even the lights in his office.  I had to wear sun glasses even in doors.  I could not even look at him.  He gasped at how much pain I was in.  Yes, besides the eye problems I had severe tendon pain and electric shocks in my brain.

So he tells me right off I had a stroke.  I laughed and said no way.  I told him "You mean I might have a stroke."  He said "No, you already did."  So he convinced me to do an MRI.  Sure enough, I had two strokes not one.  It happened while I was asleep and so there was no way to prevent this.

Something Had to Change

I had a thriving business and people depended on me.  I knew with 2 strokes I had to be careful but I had a business.  What was I going to do?  I set up a bucket list of things I needed to do and once I finished those, I would retire and enjoy my life.  Allah was generous and helped me do the things I wanted to do.  I paid my rent a year in advance along with my phone and internet.  Bought some things I needed along with an air conditioner for my bedroom, a big ticket item.

No matter what I did or how I planned to stop, I just could not.  Client after client called me for help.  So each week I planned to stop and just could not have the heart to say no.  So each week I would tell my clients, this is it.

After I would get home after mailing the last box, I felt sad and so alone.  I was glad it was finally over with, but I missed working.  So each week I would come up with a reason I had to work more.

Then 3 months ago I had a major rupture in my knee tendon and I could not walk.  Now retiring was a must.  I was in so much pain and trying to walk 2 feet was impossible.  I would go to the post office and be in so much pain, I cried.  I needed money but I was dying.  I had to quit.

I opened and closed my business around six times.  My son said I looked like a flake and people would not trust me.  It was not that I was a flake, it was I loved what I was doing.  I needed to help people.  I needed to work.  The money I had saved was not enough.  I had to decide do I quit working and not help anyone again or do I keep doing what I was doing and have a worse problem.  I knew I had to quit.

Yes, you are right, I opened again.  A few months later I discovered an herb called myrrh and it helped greatly.  I could walk, had little pain and I could see myself getting better.  But again we were faced with many consequences.  The winter was approaching and customs in the US was a mess and so I decided to close in the winter months.

My heart was not happy though.  I had worked the last few weeks changing all the websites over again and opening multiple stores.  Weebly was moving ecommerce sites for me and I was trying to have small but valuable places for people to shop.  But I noticed my heart was not happy.

Trust Your Heart

So I wrote to a sheik and asked him about my heart.  Why was my heart not happy?   Again my son told me to quit.  He told me taking care of myself was more important than helping others.  See the problem is there are no black seed experts on cancer.  I had told Cancer Tutor to remove my cancer protocol and was changing things around, but once I did that the whole internet shut down.

Where were people going to get help with black seed oil? There were lots of articles on the current research on cancer and black cumin oil, but there was no place to get the actual protocol, except for thousands of websites who had copied me.  The problem there is that I had updated my protocol at least 3 times and most people did not know the new ways to be well.

No matter how I tried to change things, there was still a huge gap in how I would leave this world.  I either had to write or I had to have stores.  I talked to my son again and we knew which way I would go.  It was time to close again.

I enjoy writing and I enjoy writing about life.  I enjoy creating protocols too. The problem is where do you get quality products?  We are working on affiliate sales and looking for good products elsewhere.  We are looking for things to help my clients who need guidance.

Consulting

When I decided to close, I told my clients I would be charging consulting fees and everyone got upset. Why?  Because for years I had done this for free.  They could not understand the need to pay.  The need to pay is because you cannot find good information on a blog.  Cancer is not a part time business, it is a life and death choice.

While in the end I will miss working, I will always be around for those who need me.  With a sad heart, we will close down again.  Who knows, maybe after the winter is over, I will be back once more.